My starfish and me

Have you ever heard the tale of the starfish?

It’s about a girl on a beach full of thousands of starfish that washed up after a storm. She’s throwing them back into the ocean, one by one, when a man asks her why she’s doing this and points out she can’t save them all. She throws another back in, replies “Well, I made a difference for that one!” and continues returning more to the water...

And here I am, pulled in so many directions as a wife, a mom, a daughter and a friend. I have errands to run, groceries to buy, meals to cook, laundry to wash and put away, a house to tidy and clean, a little girl that wants me to play and take her on adventures, a husband I want to spend time with, friends and family I want to catch up with, an exciting city and active neighborhood I want to enjoy, a church where I attend and volunteer and a Bucket List I can’t ignore. On top of all that, I want to take care of myself, so that I can be the best version of myself for those around me for many years to come.

And so instead of saying yes to every need I hear of, I said yes to one…Marie.

Over the these past few years, I’ve watched as she completed requirements with Front Porch Housing and classes at Tech, always excelling and moving forward. I’ve learned about her life, what she has overcome and witnessed her baptism. I’ve seen that she loves her boys fiercely and makes decisions that are best for them. And now that we’ve celebrated her graduation from Front Porch Housing, I’ve been impressed as she’s reclaimed her independence and set up a fresh start for her family. Now, she’s healthy, in a good place and is using her experience and gifts to support other moms in crisis.

So, I decided that Marie is my starfish.

When I met Marie, our relationship started simply with me texting weekly and asking her for her prayer requests and showing up to meetings and events, not really knowing how to serve her, but trying to make sure she knew that I was there. Over the years, it became invitations to kids birthday parties, a dinner out together and a painting class, cleaning out and organizing her apartment, stopping by when I could and consistently keeping in touch about our lives. And now, today, I consider her a friend.

Marie has shown me what it looks like to be brutally honest and to keep pushing ahead, facing challenges as they come. When we met, I was a new mom who questioned what I had to offer and now, years later, I see that what I had to offer was myself. I came to Marie with no expectations, got to know her and listened to her needs. I felt inadequate, but made myself available, and our friendship rebuilt my confidence in my ability to help others by simply showing up.

Marie may have started out as my starfish, but I also became hers.