Will I ever feel settled?

Can I be honest with you for a minute?

Not traveling is hard on me!

Between miscarriage, pregnancy, pandemic, new baby and flipping several houses, we’ve been at home more than ever before these past 5 years. I feel homesick for our trips, seeing friends and family I never get to see, eating amazing vegan food around the country, going to new places, spending all day every day with Nick and crossing things off my Bucket List.

Sure…it’s nice to be home, have a routine and comforts like a washing machine. But, no matter what, I’m always wishing for my next adventure and feel the almost constant need to get on the road again.

As a kid, I dreamed of growing up to work for National Geographic. I wanted to take beautiful photos and write heart-wrenching stories while I traveled the world. I imagined me, someone I love, a few things stuffed into our backpacks and adventure before us.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that I have a beautiful home and a reliable car and a green yard and nice “stuff” to fill all our space. I’m living the American Dream. But, it never was my own dream.

You know the scene in Beauty and the Beast where Belle runs off to the top of a hill that overlooks the city and sings, “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere…”? You’re singing that in your head right now, aren’t you?  Ever since I can remember, when I hear those few sentences, I get chill bumps all over my body, begin to shiver and get choked up.  Sometimes I even cry. It’s as if Belle is speaking to me. Because, I want that too.

I know, without a doubt, that God put those desires in my heart. They’ve been calling to me since I was a child, growing stronger and stronger each year as I grow more confident in what truly matters to me. I want good relationships with people who I love and I want to live an adventure. With each passing season, I feel more sure that I’m meant for more than my comfortable home, safe car and big yard.

So, I constantly ask myself, with every move, will I ever feel settled? And the answer, honestly, is probably not.

How about you. What calls to you? What gets you choked up?

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