3 SIGNS OF A TRUE FRIEND

Sometime in January, this cute Instagram couple started following me.  I immediately followed them back because they were adorable and loved to travel just like us.  For weeks, I liked all their photos and left comments.  They did the same.  Since they were young and in love and seemed to have so much in common with Ironman and me, I assumed that we were going to be friends and stay in touch through social media.  I really did like them.

Last week, however, I realized that I hadn't seen them like any of my posts in a while.  After checking my followers, I saw that they were no longer following me.  I know that this is silly, but it hurt my feelings!  I felt like it had all been fake; that they had followed me just so that I would follow them in return.  Normally this wouldn't bother me (since we aren't really friends anyway), but other things had been going on in the background.  As I have been growing my Instagram following, I have noticed many people following me and then unfollowing me.  At first I didn't realize what was happening and wondered why my numbers were going up and down daily.  Since I use social media to follow and connect with people I enjoy, it bothered me that so many seem to do it to simply gain their own following.

Throughout my life, I have definitely learned a lot about friendship.  True friends are such a blessing and not easily found.  And sadly social media, although seems to help people stay more connected, also seems to be creating more and more fake friendships.  I'm not saying that I want to fight the times and hate on social media.  No.  It's been great to be able to get in touch with childhood friends and connect with new friends who I've grown to love.  But, I don't want to join in on following and unfollowing people to my own advantage.  I want to be a real friend to those I like and want to get to know better.

At some point in the past, someone talked to me about friendships in comparison to a house.  It went something like, you invite people to your home.  Some are just acquittances and don't get past the front porch.  Some are friends and are invited into your living room.  But, your closest friends are the only ones found in the kitchen.  There may be only 2-3 during your entire lifetime.

As I've met and talked to people, I've realized how many people don't have true friendships and it's so sad!  I think part of the problem is time.  We are busy, true.  But, when we have time, we use it for other things.  Another problem that I see is social media.  It connects people, yes.  But, it is also killing relationships...pay attention next time you're out in public and look at how many people are on their cell phone while they are with someone else who they could be talking to instead.  Finally, though, I feel like people don't know what makes a true friend, so they don't know how to be one either.  I'm no expert, but here are the things that matter to me.

1.  Caring.  I'll always remember Jon Acuff saying "care about what the people you care about, care about".  To do this, you'll have to be a good listener.  Listen to what's going well in your friend's life.  Hear what's hard.  Know their likes and dislikes.  Pay attention when they aren't themselves.  Ask them questions.  Pray for your friends.  Be sensitive to your friends needs and wants so that they know you have taken the time to get to know them.

2.  Dependable.  There is a big difference between "I'll do it" and "I'll try".  When someone says "I'll try", I hear it as "I'm not going to put effort, but if it happens then great".  People need someone to depend on.  If you say you'll do something, do it.  If you say you'll be somewhere, be there (on time). If someone is trying to get a hold of you, answer that phone call or respond to that text.  Be available to your friends so that they know you are there for them when they need you.

3.  Trustworthy.  Give good advice.  Keep secrets.  Have your friends back.  People already have enough things to worry about, so don't be one of them.  Stick by your friends side no matter what happens.  Be the type of friend that people feel safe with and sure about.

Although there is a lot more that goes into a friendship, these are the three things that tell me whether someone truly is my friend or not.  I ask myself "does this person care about me?", "can I depend on them" and "can I trust them?".  Some friends may meet 1 or 2 of these, but a true friend must meet all three consistently.  I haven't always been a true friend and I'm sorry for those times, but I think that it has helped me learn and grow into the friend that I am today.  And remember, you can't be all things to everyone...in your lifetime, you'll only have 2-3 friends in your kitchen and that's good!

Think about your friendships now.  Are there people that you need to distance yourself from?  Is there someone you should spend more time with?  Being a true friend to a few is so much better than a crappy friend to many, so choose your friends wisely.  Are you a true friend?

31 BLOG POST IDEAS

Until last year, I had no idea that people actually planned out their blog posts months in advance and wrote them ahead of time.  Each time I publish a new post, it's when I have just finished writing it.  Since I am organized and pay attention to detail, I think it's always been assumed that I plan ahead.  However, I've recently come to believe that I actually fly by the seat of my pants more than people realize!  Many days I wake up and have no plans, but take things as they come.  Even when I travel, I usually don't know much else except where I'm going and where I'm staying.  I pretty much do the same with my blog!  So, in effort to have more of a plan, I've come up with a list of 31 blog topics that I think I would enjoy writing.  

1.  natural hair care

2.  capsule wardrobe: packing

3.  2017 goals

4.  my daily routine: morning and evening

5.  Friday favorites

6.  my tips for living simply

7.  this weeks menu

8.  what's in my purse

9.  a day in the life of me

10.  our kitchen renovation

11.  capsule wardrobe: why I'm taking a break

12.  my love/hate relationship with makeup

13.  Tuesday tips

14.  guest post

15.  how to keep a tidy home

16.  my wishlist

17.  blogging: a thing of the past?

18.  travel tips

19.  Winter Bucket List update

20.  mix it up monday

21.  can't live without

22.  my new fitness routine

23.  what's working Wednesday

24.  my grocery list

25.  our favorite movies and tv shows

26.  how to enjoy health, wealth and happiness 

27.  throw back Thursday

28.  my reading list

29.  Sunday funday

30.  naturally healthy nails

31.  my Spring Bucket List

I'd also love to hear your ideas!  What would you like to read about on my blog?

12 STEPS TO A MORE PRODUCTIVE DAY

Some days I feel super productive and some days I'm like, "what did I do all day?".  It's almost as if I got off on the wrong side of the bed and then the entire day is just weird.  However, some days I feel like I 'm motivated and on top of things.  I know it's not rocket science, but more about how I go about my day (and especially start my morning) that truly effects everything.  Here are 12 steps that I feel like make for a much more productive day for me!

Photo by Emily Christopher...we were in Hawaii!!!

1.  Wake up and get up.  Ironman and I set our alarm for the same time every day and don't hit the snooze button.  I know it's hard to break that habit if you're already used to it, but you'll be much more awake and rested each day if you stick to it.

2.  Ningxia Red.  Before anything else hits my stomach, I like to start with this Young Living superfruit supplement.  I've noticed a difference in my hair, skin and nails, energy levels, digestion and so much more over the past three years of taking this daily.

3.  Get moving.  My favorite way to get in some cardio is to take a walk.  I love to head outdoors, get some sunlight and fresh air and better yet, catch up with my sister who walks with me each morning.  It's a great way to get up and moving and start the day off on a positive note.  Most days, Emily from Just Because comes over at noon and we get in a more intense workout, like HIIT or something else that just about kills us.

The best is when you can take your morning walk on the beach!

4.  Stay hydrated.  I know that they say to do this when you first wake up, but then I'll be out on my walk and regret all the water.  So, when I get back home, I do my best to guzzle 32 ounces.  I find it I start off well in the morning, I usually do well the rest of the day.

5.  Enjoy some quiet time.  Sometimes this is while sitting on my leather couch and reading Jesus Calling and sometimes it's while taking a hot bath.  I just know that every morning I need some alone time to be quiet, think and pray.  It makes me feel a lot more calm and helps me start my day focused.

6.  Eat breakfast.  Homemade granola and smoothies are my favorite.  I've always thought it is crazy that people can skip this meal.  Every time I've tried to skip or had to, I've felt nauseated and dizzy.  I know it's often said to be the most important meal and that you should never skip.  Although I can't skip, I think it's best for people to eat when they feel hungry and not simply when they are told they should eat.

7.  Tidy up.  Walk through the house and put things back in their place, do the dishes, make your bed and start a load of laundry.  Your day will be much more productive if you are in a clean and clutter free environment, especially if you are like me and work from home.

8.  Dress to impress.  I look back at old photos and see how well people dressed only decades ago.  It seems that it's going steadily downhill.  I don't believe that the problem is that we have less time or money to take care of ourselves, but that we just choose to put other things first.  I love the capsule wardrobe because it gives me less (but better) choices, which makes getting dressed that much easier.  Also, when I set boundaries with social media and Netflix, I find that I have much more time to care for myself and my home.

9.  Get started.  Look at your calendar to remind yourself of appointments or planned events.  If you have a lot to do and feel you don't know where to start, write out a list of everything you need to get accomplished.  This will help you stay on top of things and make sure that you use your time well.

10.  Stay focused.  Plan time to text, make phone calls, check and respond to FaceBook, Instagram and your emails.  Make sure that you set boundaries on that time so that you aren't mindlessly wasting away your day.  When you are at work, work.  When you are at play, play.  When you are eating a meal, eat.  When you are catching up with a friend, do that.  Whatever you are doing, be all there.  And remember not to plan too much in one day.  Give yourself time to get everything done well, without feeling all hurried and frazzled.

11.  Turn off.  Once the day is done, put it all behind you.  Get off social media, phone, emails and put away your work.  Take the time to wind down.  Spend time with your family.  Enjoy your dinner. Go on a bike ride.  Join a Bible study.  Whatever it is, make sure that you set boundaries between your work life and home life.  Work to live, don't live to work.  You need a life...a real life, with hobbies and friends and rest.  Plus, the down time will mean that when you are working, you do a better job.

12.  Goodnight.  At least an hour before going to sleep, start your bedtime ritual (and I don't mean watching TV).  Take a bath, read a book, diffuse some calming essential oils (StressAway is my absolute favorite)...do something relaxing that doesn't involve a screen.  Go to bed at the same time each night.  Get an alarm clock and leave your phone in another room.  You'll sleep so much better, I promise!

If I have had a productive day, I am much more able to relax and rest better that night.  Feeling that I used my time wisely to take care of myself, my home and get things done always helps me to feel accomplished and proud of myself at the end of the day.

What is one thing that you do each day that helps you have a more productive day?

INFJ

Have you ever taken a personality test?

A few years back, I took the 16 Personalities Test and found out that I am INFJ.  The summary of my personality nailed me (at least I think so), saying that I am creative, insightful, inspiring and convincing, decisive, determined and passionate, altruistic, sensitive, extremely private (not sure how accurate this one is), perfectionistic, always need to have a cause and can burn out easily.  Yep.  This is me.

Photo: Emily Christopher

I'm sure this is where my need for a Bucket List comes into play.  My dreams turn into goals and if I don't feel like my life is counting each and every day, then I feel like I'm wasting away.  I'm not content to just live "the American dream".  I want to live an adventure.  I want my life to mean something.  And I'm not content to just have this for myself...I want it for those I care about.  This is a lot of the reason why I continue to blog about dreaming and traveling and bucket lists.  I want to inspire people to live the kind of life that they truly love.

I spend most of my days taking care of my home and myself, catching up with friends and family, growing with Ironman, running my small business and I sprinkle in my blog, Bible study and random things that pop up in my Calendar here and there.  I often find myself wanting to buckle down and work hard to achieve my goals, but at the same time, getting easily overwhelmed with all that it comes with.  It sometimes ends up being a constant battle...feeling down about not doing enough, but then freaking out when I do too much.  So, I usually have to take time to remind myself what truly matters to me so that I can stay focused and balanced.

Relationships always come first for me.  I would much rather be a great wife, daughter, sister and friend than stay busy working towards success.  And I don't need a lot of friends to be happy, just a few who I can trust and spend time with regularly.  With three sisters and a mother, I already have four built in best friends.  My dad and I are also very close and I would consider him one of my best friends.  Ironman, though...he is the ultimate, always there for me when I need him and the best husband I could have ever wished for.  I love that we can spend every waking moment together and not grow tired of each other.  As close as I am with my family, it sometimes makes me feel like I have little time for other friendships, but I do manage to work them in as much as possible because they are still important to me.  Over the years, though, I've had to learn a lot about friendships.  I would love to have a million friends (because I like so many people that I meet) and I want to spend time with all of them all the time, but because of how I am easily burned out, I have had to learn to set boundaries.

As I've learned more about myself, I honestly feel like it's helped me become a better version of me.  I see my strengths, but I also see my weaknesses and I'm constantly trying to improve in both areas.  I highly encourage you to take the 16 personalities test or another good one (tell me which one you take so I can try that one also).

Every person in the world is unique.  There is only one you.  Be you.  Be the best version of you.

9 THINGS TO DO, SEE AND EAT IN BEAUFORT

While vacationing in Hilton Head a few weeks back, Ironman and I decided to make a day trip to Beaufort.  Growing up, my grandparents usually kept their boat in the downtown marina, so I have been here many times, but it's been a few years.  I like to think of it as a smaller version of Savannah. There is great food, cute shops, lots of history and plenty to see.  So, here are 9 things that I recommend you see, do and eat the next time you head that way!

1.  Find the mermaid and pose for a photo.  It's located right beside a museum, so you can step in right after!

2.  Take a walk down by the marina.

3.  Stop and enjoy the swings, while you're at it.

4.  Take a horse drawn carriage tour.

 5.  Stop in The Chocolate Tree and take a bite.  This was Tom Hanks favorite place and his "box of chocolates" in Forest Gump was filled here!

6.  Stroll down Beaufort's Rainbow Row.  Downtown is full of quiet streets and beautiful old homes.  It seemed strange that people live in these places that are full of history and part of the tours. I ended up feeling like I was intruding as I admired their homes and yards (especially when they caught me looking).

 7.  Shop 'til you drop.  The downtown area is full of cute boutiques and great restaurants.

8.  Take lots of photos.  We are trying to decide how to do our own front yard landscaping, so this day trip gave us lots of great inspiration and had us wishing our yard was full of live oaks!

9.  Drop in Bay St. Treasures.  It doesn't look like much from the outside, but the inside is full of unique treasures that you'll want to take home!

Beaufort is definitely a neat little city that we want to come back to in the future when we have more time.  I would love to stay in a Bed and Breakfast downtown and see more of the surrounding area.