7.30.2025

What I wish I knew when I was younger

Call me crazy, but I find myself eager to turn 40 next month.

In my teens, I had high expectations of where my life was going to take me. My 20s were when I started to joke that “I got everything I never wanted”. And in my 30s, I finally realized that what I got is most likely what God knew I needed.

All these decades, I have strived. Maybe not to be the best, but to be my best. 100% vegan. A minimalist. Always crossing things off my Bucket List. Climbing the ranks with Young Living Essential Oils. For my blog to take off. To bring Ivy into the world. Be the best wife. Take care of my health. Support world missions. Make an impact. The list goes on. And so do I, always trying my best. But often feeling like my best just isn’t enough.

However, through it all, I managed to create a life that I love. I still feel young. I enjoy my routine. I look forward to my future. And somehow it all worked out even though nothing really worked out. So, instead of spending all these decades striving, I wish I would have known to simply stop trying so hard and just enjoy them.

As I’ve moved through my years of expectation, disappointment and acceptance, I’ve confirmed many times over that hard times are inevitable and I’ve learned contentment through suffering. I can’t have it all, and that’s ok. I can’t be the best, and that’s ok too. But what I can do is choose to find hope in every circumstance because once I get it all into perspective, I’m reminded that God put me here, now, loves me and has a future planed for me.

Then my 40 years of working towards my goals fade away and I think of the quote “Only one life will soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” and I’m reminded, yet again, it’s not about me at all. It’s about Him. And I wish I knew that when I was younger, but I wish I knew that in this moment. Because tomorrow morning, I’m going to wake up, thinking that it’s all about me all over again and will continue to do so, until I am reminded, again and again and again, that I am nothing and He is everything.

So, as I graduate this decade and celebrate the next, I do plan to strive.

Strive to forget myself.


6.29.2025

My starfish and me

Have you ever heard the tale of the starfish?


It’s about a girl on a beach full of thousands of starfish that washed up after a storm. She’s throwing them back into the ocean, one by one, when a man asks her why she’s doing this and points out she can’t save them all. She throws another back in, replies “Well, I made a difference for that one!” and continues returning more to the water...


And here I am, pulled in so many directions as a wife, a mom, a daughter and a friend. I have errands to run, groceries to buy, meals to cook, laundry to wash and put away, a house to tidy and clean, a little girl that wants me to play and take her on adventures, a husband I want to spend time with, friends and family I want to catch up with, an exciting city and active neighborhood I want to enjoy, a church where I attend and volunteer and a Bucket List I can’t ignore. On top of all that, I want to take care of myself, so that I can be the best version of myself for those around me for many years to come.


And so instead of saying yes to every need I hear of, I said yes to one…Marie.


Over the these past few years, I’ve watched as she completed requirements with Front Porch Housing and classes at Tech, always excelling and moving forward. I’ve learned about her life, what she has overcome and witnessed her baptism. I’ve seen that she loves her boys fiercely and makes decisions that are best for them. And now that we’ve celebrated her graduation from Front Porch Housing, I’ve been impressed as she’s reclaimed her independence and set up a fresh start for her family. Now, she’s healthy, in a good place and is using her experience and gifts to support other moms in crisis.


So, I decided that Marie is my starfish.




When I met Marie, our relationship started simply with me texting weekly and asking her for her prayer requests and showing up to meetings and events, not really knowing how to serve her, but trying to make sure she knew that I was there. Over the years, it became invitations to kids birthday parties, a dinner out together and a painting class, cleaning out and organizing her apartment, stopping by when I could and consistently keeping in touch about our lives. And now, today, I consider her a friend.


Marie has shown me what it looks like to be brutally honest and to keep pushing ahead, facing challenges as they come. When we met, I was a new mom who questioned what I had to offer and now, years later, I see that what I had to offer was myself. I came to Marie with no expectations, got to know her and listened to her needs. I felt inadequate, but made myself available, and our friendship rebuilt my confidence in my ability to help others by simply showing up.


Marie may have started out as my starfish, but I also became hers. 

12.09.2024

17 tips on our 17th anniversary

Nick and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary yesterday!

It's gone by in a flash and he's still my favorite person. I would say I just got lucky, but honestly, I know it's the combination of God putting us together and us putting in the work.

So, if you're looking for some advice, here are 17 things we recommend for a happy marriage:

1. Say "thank you" about everything. I always do Nick's laundry, cook the meals, clean the house and run errands and Nick always thanks me for all of it. Nick always repairs the cars, takes care of the yard and works daily to provide for us financially and I always thank him for it. Daily, even if it seems like overkill, we thank each other. Basically, if we notice something our spouse did that made our lives easier, we say thank you.

2. Practice self-care. Think about how you looked when your spouse fell in love with you. How you dressed, how you did your hair, your perfume, your shape, etc. Your spouse was attracted to you. Although we naturally age, I'm always trying to do my best to impress Nick with my looks by taking good care of myself and dressing in clothes that he enjoys on me.

3. Hang out with friends, separately and together. It's healthy to have girls nights, guys nights, double dates, couples weekends, etc. Friends can help support our marriage by keeping things fun and giving us an additional support system, on top of mine and Nick's own friendship.

4. Take a vacation. We miss Ivy terribly, but Nick and I always feel closer after we take a vacation, just the two of us. It gives us time to focus on each other, reconnect and relax, dream about future plans and we always look forward to it.

5. Share a hobby. We've had hobbies come and go, but since we got married we've focused on a plant-based diet as much as possible. It's been fun to read books and discus what we learn, look for vegan restaurants while we travel and watch documentaries together. Find a hobby that gives you and your spouse a common goal and new conversation.

6. Communicate daily and tell the truth. We talk about our day, tell each other new plans to be added to the calendar, cover questions that need to be addressed, share what we did and who we caught up with, etc. It helps us to actively stay on the same page so there are few miscommunications and confused plans.

7. Be generous with compliments. The more Nick compliments me, the more I want to try to keep impressing him. It feels good to be noticed and makes the hard work worth it. If I'm working out and tidying the house daily and Nick notices, I'm much more likely to continue doing it!

8. Host your spouse like a guest. When Nick gets home, I try to remember to offer him a snack or a cup of tea and have a clean towel folded and waiting for him beside the shower. It's not much, but if I'd do it for a guest, why not do the same for my family so they feel treated to that extra touch of care.

9. Go to bed at the same time. This was a piece of advice given to us before we were married and we've stuck with it all these years! Going to bed together gives us time each day to come together, talk about our day, go over tomorrow's plans, bring up anything important, etc. It's also so comforting to turn off the lights, pray and fall asleep together. At a recent marriage event, a husband shared that he began doing this to keep from watching things he shouldn't after his wife had gone to bed. So, whether you need it for accountability or simply to feel closer to your spouse, it's a must-do in my book.

10. Never say anything negative about your spouse. My Grandma Jackson told me this before we were married and I wholeheartedly agree! No one wants to hear us whine about and trash talk our spouses and it does nothing for our marriages. Along with going to bed at the same time each night, this is another piece of advice I always give newlyweds.

11. See a counselor. And on that note, I don't mean that you can't talk about your marital problems. But if you need someone to talk to, go see a professional. If your spouse won't go, then you go alone. Counselors are amazing and I've always been glad I've gone to see one when I need an outside listening ear.


12. Be involved in your home church. Marriage isn't about our happiness. It's about commitment and growth and using our marriage to make an impact on eternity. When we are attending church and caring for missionaries together, we are working towards a common goal outside of ourselves and it keeps our perspective straight.

13. Budget. We took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University the year we got married, got out of debt as quickly as possible, created a budget that we both agreed on and stuck to it. We have weekly money meetings to talk about what we've spent and if there was anything unplanned that came up. Staying on top of the finances together has made for less arguments.

14. Get off technology. We both got off all of it and it's freeing. Less distractions. Less comparisons. More time. I hate when I go out and see people on dates, both scrolling their phones and ignoring each other. Or families out to dinner and everyone looking at their own screen. Or even individuals, sitting alone, head down, world tuned out. We need to look up, look in each other's eyes, be open to stillness and conversation, accept solitude and be ok with a little boredom.

15. Work out. Nothing's better than noticing some attractive guy across the gym and realizing it's your own husband. Working out looks good on us and it's loving to take care of your body so you're healthier for the person who loves you most and hopes you'll be around for years to come. Work out daily together so that you can grow old together. It's not convenient, but it's a great habit with lots of rewards.

16. Go on a weekly date. We can't always find a sitter, so sometimes we do a coffee date while Ivy is at preschool. Or we'll get take out and ice cream and have an at-home movie date. But as often as we can, we find a sitter and get out. It reminds us that, although we are parents, we are still just a couple that wants a little romance in our lives and it's showing Ivy that our relationship is important to us.

17. Create a Bucket List. We have a huge, evolving bucket list. We dream, save, plan and then go. Over and over. After 17 years, it's added up to a lot of crossed off countries, states and adventures. It's how we've gone on countless roadtrips to the west coast, spent months in South America, gone to friends weddings in Europe and taken our then 1-year-old daughter on a 2 month cross-country roadtrip. We've done more than any of our friends and it's brought us so much closer because we're in it together and proud of ourselves for making a dream come true.

Am I missing anything? Please comment below and share your marriage advice with me!


11.13.2024

16 Ways To Replace Your Smartphone

A year ago, I quit social media and can honestly share that I feel less bothered, more peaceful and make better choices with my time. So, although this was originally a year-long experiment of life and business without social media, it's been so good for me that I've decided to stay off, indefinitely!

And to add to that, I've recently become more convicted over my smartphone use in general. The convenience of all the apps and staying organized on my one device has really made me question if my iPhone complicates my life more than simplifies.

In the past few weeks, I've "dumbed" down my smartphone to the absolute basics and now only use it for calls, texts, photos and maps. It's been a fun challenge and, in the same way that I was happy to live without social media, I've also been enjoying using my phone more like a good ole phone.

My Current Cell Screen!
Swipe left for texts, photos and maps

On that note, I've recently spent a lot of time remembering my smartphone-free years, trying to recall how I did it all without a smartphone in high-school and my 20's, and wondering what it would look like to get back to that again.

So, here is a list of the things that might been to be replaced if I chose to upgrade from my smartphone to a "dumbphone" in the future:

1. WEAR A WRIST WATCH - In my first days of university, a professor had a student go up on stage for a competition. He said if she could tell him the time within 10 seconds, she would win a prize. Trouble was, by the time she ran back to her seat, pulled her phone out of her backpack and checked the time, the 10 seconds were over and she lost. The professors point was that everyone should wear a watch and I've never forgotten!

2. USE A WALL CALENDAR / CARRY A CALENDAR - It may seem too simple, but I'm currently carrying a piece of torn-out notebook paper in my purse with plans written down and a wall calendar in our kitchen (so Nick can see all our family events and appointments). I found that when I used the calendar app, I had to continually check it because I couldn't remember our plans. But, once I deleted that app and started using a paper calendar, I can remember almost everything without having to constantly re-check plans.

3. USE A CALCULATOR - When Nick and I were first married, we were poor students who went to school full-time and worked all other waking hours. We would go together once per week to ALDI, walk around the store, put items in our cart and add it up on the calculator until we reached $50, which was our grocery budget. It's true that calculator was on our phones, but our phones were just the old bricks that cell-phone companies would give for free because they only made calls. For years now, I've been using my smartphone calculator, but I get sucked into other things on the screen and forget I even picked up my phone for the calculator. So, last week, I bought an inexpensive calculator to use from now on, to stop my accidental multi-tasking.

4. CHECK EMAIL FROM A COMPUTER - I don't get any interesting emails, but still found myself checking for new emails on my smartphone throughout the day. I decided to delete the app and only check my email on my laptop. Now on some days, I forget to even check because the emails are so boring and I'm now not sure what was drawing me into checking on my phone in the first place, except that it was there and I had the habit of checking.

5. QUIT ONLINE SHOPPING - Online shopping can turn into too much browsing and wasting time. I've decided that when possible, I'll just go in person to search for what I need, try it on and make decisions at the store. It beats waiting on shipping and then going out to make returns when most things don't work. Don't get me wrong, I have an Amazon account that I use for many things, but I try to limit it to simply logging in to make a purchase I already know I need, instead of shopping around to see what's available.

6. COMMUNICATE IN PERSON - Too often, I'd be with someone and plan to make plans, saying "I'll text you". Now I'm trying to make a conscious effort to slow down and talk it out and say what I want to say in that moment, so that I don't have to text later to finish up the conversation.

7. KEEP A NOTEBOOK AND USE STICKY NOTES - My thoughts are much more creative when I write them down as opposed to typing them out. So I'm keeping a notebook and sticky notes around to jot down my thoughts and let my mind wander more often.

8. READ BOOKS - I've had a Kindle for probably close to a decade and I can tell you that I read books differently on a Kindle than on a paperback or hardback. Maybe it's that I get my Kindle books free, so I just fly through them, almost skimming the entire story because there was no investment. But, when I'm holding a real book in my hand, I take more time to read slowly and enjoy.

9. TRAVEL WITHOUT GPS - Have you ever used MapQuest? That was how I got around until my late 20s! I would look up the directions, write it down on a piece of paper and head out. I'm directionally challenged, and paper directions don't reroute you when you miss a turn, so I spent a lot of time going backwards to where I was before I was lost and then following the directions again until I got them right. True, it took more time, and I often got turned around or lost, but I always ended up at the right place eventually. And without GPS, I was better about learning my way around. But these days, now that I have my smartphone with me, I'm impatient and don't want to waste time, so I use Maps, even when I could probably find my way. Instead of helping me, it's actually made me even more directionally challenged because I've lost confidence in being able to figure it out on my own. Although I still have the maps app, I use it as little as possible and have considered a Garmin if I do end up getting rid of my smartphone!

10. BRING A CAMERA TO SPECIAL OCCASIONS - Check out this blog post I wrote years ago about the 5 reasons why I think we should stop taking photos.

11. KEEP PHOTOS IN YOUR WALLET - Each time I'm with someone who wants to show me a photo, I watch them pull out their smartphone and scroll forever to find that one. Just last week this happened and it reminded me of when we would just pull a photo out of our wallets. It's there, ready to share and very special because it's the only one. Photos feel less sentimental to me now that we have smartphones and can easily accumulate a hundred photos in one day-trip or event. What if we avoided taking photos, but maybe snapped just one special one to mark an occasion?

12. CREATE PHOTO ALBUMS - Ever since our first year of marriage, I've created a photo book per year and even an extra book for some special trips. It's been a lot of time and money invested into these, since now I have over 20, but I love to look back on them and remember the fun times we've had, places we've been and friends we've spent time with. And now that we have our daugther, Ivy, she loves to look through our books. It means a lot to me to show her the 13 years before she was around that Nick and I were already living a great adventure. I want her to grow up knowing that we had a wonderful life and marriage before her and that she has been a fun addition to our already full life.

13. DON'T REWATCH SHOWS AND MOVIES - I've already seen most of what I watch. Rewatching brings comfort to me because I don't have to worry about any surprises and I can tune out. But I feel better when I give myself some quiet, instead of always filling my downtime with background noise. So, I've considered making a "rule" for myself that I can only watch something I've never seen. Since only so many movies and shows that interest me come out per year, it would drastically cut down on my screen time. But, I have to admit I'll probably still make an exception for Gilmore Girls and holiday favorites like ELF.

14. REPLACE TEXTS WITH CALLS - For the most part, I try to only text when I'm making plans or in groups where it's just more convenient than calling each one of my 9+ family members. I'd rather save my catching up for in person because it's so much more fun and helps motivate me to make plans with people I want to keep up with. Yes, it's easier to keep an ongoing text with someone to stay in touch, but it's much more fulfilling to call and catch up. I have a few girlfriends that I only speak to about once a year when we FaceTime, but those few hours of catching up are so much fun and keep me going until the next FaceTime date we plan.

15. STEP OUTSIDE TO CHECK THE WEATHER - In high-school, I lived in a valley in the Andes mountains and would sleep with my windows open, my fan on and the cool air flicking my white eyelet curtains back and forth. It was so relaxing and I still think about it. My alarm would go off, I'd grab a shower, walk around and wake up my family and then head back to my room to hold my arm against the window screen and look at the sky to determine the weather and choose my outfit. Instead of check my weather app, I've started to let my dog Lucy out to use that bathroom while I stand on my back porch, feel the air and look at the sky to determine the weather and my outfit. True it might change, but usually dressing in layers works out and if you want more of an actual number, consider an outdoor thermometer.

16. SEND SNAIL MAIL - I actually have always loved sending snail mail. Grab some pretty cards and if you want to say something to someone and it's not urgent, consider sending them a card!

For years, I wanted to quit social media, but felt trapped. I was constantly reading blogs and books about others who had gotten offline and felt jealous, but didn't believe it was an option for me since I owned a business that I have grown 99% through social media.

Now that I've proven myself wrong, been off social media for a year, still earning money from my online business and enjoying being disconnected, I've become more confident in the idea that I could also quit my smartphone and be ok.

The more I disconnect from technology, the more I have connected to reality. I have more time for personal relationships, rest, time with God and in nature, focused workouts, time for local and church events, more fun traveling and less rushed as I go through my day.

I know quitting social media, and possibly smartphones, is not for everyone, but if you have considered it, just go for it. If you miss it, it'll still be there. And if you don't, you'll be happy that you challenged yourself to get out of your comfort zone.


11.04.2024

I'm 39 - Here are my 39 pieces of advice

I turned 39 a few months ago, and the older I am, the more I like myself, so here are a few of my favorite tips for creating a life that you love:
1. Never say never.
2. Kill them with kindness.
3. Stop wondering and just ask.
4. Spend time with people you love.
5. Love the body you have.
6. Be generous.
7. Learn something new.
8. Go on walks.
9. Choose the best option in front of you.
10. Read daily.
11. Dress in beautiful colors.


12. Stretch daily.
13. Don’t spend what you don’t have.
14. Make SMART goals.
15. Find a hobby.
16. Plan girls nights.
17. Get off technology.
18. Eat real food.
19. Get a dog.
20. Do work you love.
21. Wear comfy shoes.
22. Cook homemade meals.
23. Get monthly facials or massages.
24. Live toxin-free.
25. Practice solitude.
26. Go outside as much as possible.


27. Tidy your home each morning.
28. Enjoy quiet nights at home.
29. Become friends with your neighbors.
30. Learn to Travel Hack.
31. Drink more water.
32. Get enough sleep.
33. Use lamps and candles for lighting.
34. Practice minimalism.
35. Kiss your baby too much.
36. Pray constantly.
37. Go on trips with friends and leave the kids behind.
38. Talk to a counselor.
39. Celebrate the age you are.

Please leave a comment with your own words of wisdom!