5 tips for raising a confident 5-year-old

As Ivy is growing into her own little person, I want her to feel that she is capable and I want her to be flexible, optimistic, friendly and enjoy healthy relationships. I also want her to know that she plays an important role and that God has a special plan for her life. I believe that all of these will stem from her confidence, so I strive to build her up and teach her about God so that she knows who she is.

Here are 5 things that I try to do that I believe build confidence, all borrowed from other moms :)

1. Always act excited when you greet them and let them be the one that breaks physical contact. Ivy is always excited to see me and wants to get a great big hug or a long snuggle in my lap with a book. I think it's reassuring to her to know that even when we are apart, we will be happily back together soon. So, she can enjoy herself away knowing that I miss her, can't wait to see her and that I'm available to her when we reunite.

2. Always expect immediate obedience. People thrive when they know what's expected of them and kids are no different. Threatening, bribing, counting or anything like these is not helpful for children. It teaches them that they don't actually have to obey right away and it wears down whoever is with them. Instead share your expectations, and the consequences for misbehavior and stick to it.

3. Always say positive things about them, to them and in front of them. Whether your child acknowledges it or not, they are listening to what you say. So, say good things about them! Talk about what they do well. Share what you love about them. Tell a funny story they told you. They are listening and it's either building or chipping away at their confidence. Even in discipline, we can find a way to teach them to do better in a constructive way that leaves them feeling loved.

4. Always give them your eye contact when they speak to you. I really feel like someone is listening to me when I have their eye contact. No one likes to try to carry on a conversation with someone who is looking around them and down at their cell phones and smart watches. Even kids want to be heard, so look them in the eye, even if you need to get down on their level. They want to know that they have important things to say and that you are interested in hearing them.

5. Always take them with you. Whether you are going to the grocery store, an outing with other adults or going on an overseas trip, take them! Ivy is a great help running errands and it teaches her about responsibilities in caring for a home. She can easily join me around other adults and behave appropriately because I've taught her that's what I expect. As for travel, at only 5, she's already been to Cancun, Dominican Republic, London, Trinidad, on a week-long cruise, a 2.5 month roadtrip and many other places. She's friendly, flexible and a great traveler because she learned to be those things through getting outside of her comfort zone and learning how to be around people.

I know I'm not doing it all perfectly and I hate when I mess up, but I'm trying my best to be a good mama for Ivy. She may not grow up to be smart academically and maybe she won't be super talented in sports. She might be average all around, living a simple life.

But she can be confident in who she is and I believe that can be enough.