4 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T AGREE

The older I get, the more I encounter strong opinions.  Sometimes, strong to the point of being down-right hurtful.  Maybe when I was a kid I didn't read into things?  Or maybe people just assumed that I'd grow up and make the "right choices".  Well, I've grown up (at least a little) and made the right choices for me, but it sure does rub people wrong some days.

Let's just cover some areas where Ironman and I have gotten pushback over the years.

-We got married while still full-time college students.
-We became missionaries and lived on a ship for 6 months.
-We didn't use our degrees.
-We don't have jobs with "benefits".
-We've been married ten years this December and don't have kids yet.
-We eat plant-based.
-We travel every time we've saved up enough money for a trip.
-We sell essential oils.

There have been other minor things here and there, but over the years, these topics have been the major ones that we heard about pretty often.  Most times, we try to explain our decisions in hopes that someone will understand.  Many times, we just laugh it off when we know the person doesn't really want to understand us, but simply take a swing.  Sometimes, we just roll our eyes and huff.  But, a lot of times, we (especially me) act like everything is fine, but go home a little hurt.  One comment here or there isn't what gets you.  It's the years of comments that finally take their toll.

See?  My daddy is drinking black coffee out of a Toilet Mug
and I don't judge.  Daddy, you just do you!

 
Each person is different.  So, instead of getting offended when someone doesn't think exactly like you, try doing these 4 things:

1.  EVALUATE.  If you're curious about someone, that can be a good thing!  It shows that you are genuinely interested in other people.  However, if you are offended or think that they are making the "wrong decision", ask yourself why?  Could it be that you are just jealous of what they are doing with their life?  Do you wish you could make the same choices, but you are too scared to do it?  Or do you simply wish you had the courage to stand up for your own different choices?  Spend some time thinking about why other people's choices affect you so strongly.

2.  ASK.  Going back to being genuinely interested in other people.  That's great!  If you really don't understand something, but want to because you care about that person, just ask!  Chances are, they would love to share why they make the choices they do.  Just remember, as you are listening, don't judge.  Truly listen, without being ready with your own reply, and hear what they have to say.  And remember, it's their life and in the end they are accountable to God, not to you.  Probably, in the end, it won't even matter anyway!  Haha, that helps a lot with perspective.

3.  APPRECIATE.  No one is ever going to agree on everything.  That's what makes us unique!  How boring would it be if we all were exactly the same?  What in the world would people talk about?  Just give it time.  You never know.  In 10 years, they may come full circle and agree with your stance.  Or, you could be the one that changes!  Time flies, people learn and grow, change their minds, make new decisions...let them be who they want to be at that moment and support them in that right now.  Don't burn your bridges with people you care about over something that really doesn't matter in the big picture.

4.  DISTANCE.  If you can't bring yourself to evaluate your own self, ask sincere questions and appreciate the person for who they are, then maybe you need to distance yourself.  If it's just someone on social media, simply unfriend or unfollow them.  Easy peasy.  If it's a friend or family member that you will run into often, then just don't bring up that topic again.  Simple!

Surround yourself with people who love you and accept you for who you are!

Recently I noticed several people I follow on Instagram and YouTube making comments like "I know you haters are gonna leave something in the comments" (or something along those lines) in many of their posts and videos.  For one, I can't understand why someone who doesn't like and support them follows them and takes the time to leave mean comments.  What a waste of time.  And secondly, how sad that these people feel like they have to continually give their "disclaimer" so that they don't offend anyone.  What in the world is wrong with people?  Thank goodness we are all unique and have something to offer.  That's what makes it fun to meet new people, continue to get to know old friends and learn through others around us.

I don't want to be another hater.  The world already has plenty.  I want to know myself and be confident enough to stand up for what I believe in.  And I want to genuinely love others and be interested in what they care about.  People already have enough difficulties in their lives.  I don't want to be another thing that gets them down.  I want to be a supporter and I want my family and friends to know that I've got their back.

What do you want?